Plot uncertainty

So with just over a week to go before NaNoWriMo begins, and I’m suddenly doubting the plot I’ve been sitting on for months. I felt really confident in it, but as we get closer and I start actually trying to piece together the world in my head I’m left wondering if there’s enough in the idea for a whole novel.

This doubt really sucks. I’m still trying to piece it together and see if there’s a story in it, but I’m also brainstorming for additional backup ideas that might be better. Knowing me though, I’ll end up going a third route and just winging it with no plot, characters, or direction. We’ll have to see.

Deepish Sighs

When I first started this blog the plan was I’d have a place where I am forced to write my thoughts literally daily. At the time, I felt I was in a position where this would be possible, and indeed it mostly was. It was in part a writing exercise, in part an outlet for myself that wasn’t specific to gaming, and just overall something to pass time. Of course, situations never stay the same for long and I have found myself having less and less time for things like video games and sitting in front of a glowing computer screen at 2am in the morning.
Overall this isn’t a bad thing and actually something I’m pleased with. There’s a lot to do in life, and I feel genuinely good about where I am right now. Sure, there is a lot that could be better, but much of that is out of my hands.
Deep Sighs is still a place I want to maintain. I will be posting cool little things as they happen, maybe some stories I write as I’m finally pushing myself to do writing exercises again. The keywords there are ‘as they happen’ though. I don’t know if I’ll post multiple times in a day, once a week, or what have you. All I can say is, I will post.

I think I’m really happy that this blog became what it has. I had slightly more depressing plans for it initially. I wanted a blog that also served as a public journal. I have my own physical journal in which to scrawl down daily happenings and thoughts, but I wanted something digital to express thoughts feelings and opinions of a different nature. The sort that while many people may not encounter them, it felt good to write them down. The idea came about because honestly I had a big write-up about a friend, and a whole bunch of others planned around thoughts about myself and the world around me. Alongside the sorts of posts that populate this website currently, I was going to have these almost as the ‘main content’ of the website. Hell it’s called Deep Sighs for a reason, that reason actually being that I sighed a lot while writing the aforementioned write-up.
Of course, that write-up didn’t get posted here because once it was finally finished, my state of mind had shifted. It almost felt silly to publish it amongst posts about Doctor Who and short comments on Blink-182. I genuinely enjoyed making those posts, and want to keep doing them. Deep and meaningful is good, but it has to feel right.

I honestly feel fantastic and have lots I want to talk about…when I have the time.

Jesus Christ, 7 days?!

It’s been a week. There are reasons, of course, but this is life.

I found my Kindle the other day, and have given up on reading Ulysses, as I just couldn’t understand anything in it. It seems my reading comprehension isn’t the best when it comes to older titles like that. So instead, I’ve moved on to reading George Orwell’s 1984. I’ve always heard books and movies described as “Orwellian”, such as V for Vendetta, but I only had the loosest understanding of the term. As I read the book, I’m falling in love with the story. It’s so cool, and watching the story of Winston unfold is just riveting.

I also tried cooking a bolognese sauce the other day, from scratch. For the most part it went well, but came out a bit bland in the end. Thanks to some assistance though, we fixed it and now it’s nice, rich and tomato-ey. It turned out I didn’t add enough tomato paste and wasn’t liberal enough with the garlic. It’s delicious and I’m happy.

Definitely slacking off here.

I don’t regret it though. My reasons for not posting are also reasons I am happy, and I enjoy being vague.

image

I wanted to share my new work uniform. I work at my local casino, and every few years they change the uniform (to refresh the brand? Maybe). This time around what they’ve gone with is a nice black vest with patterns on the breast and back. I like it a lot.
However, I have mixed feelings about the open collar. It’s comfortable for sure, but I have become so used to wearing a bow tie that this just feels…incomplete. It feels like I’m undressing, almost.

Blerp.

No desktop Internet!

So the adapter I’m using for WiFi on my PC appears to have shit itself, which is a tragedy. Instead I’m chilling in the lounge room watching YouTube on the TV.

Today’s crisis is my inability to decide whether or not to shave the beard, trim the beard or leave it to grow wild and unrestrained.
I just don’t know.

Daily photos. This probably won’t work out.

I don’t take many photos of myself. I take selfies maybe once every month or two.

Years ago, I used to use Dailybooth actively, taking daily selfies of myself using a webcam to track my life. I want to start doing that again, so as of today I have a new Instagram account where I’ll take at least one photo of myself a day, barring issues getting in the way. It will be interesting for me, since I’m slowly trying lose weight. Some visual representation of progress as I go would be pretty rad.

The first photo is a few days ago, but we all have to start somewhere, right?

The choice of editing

So, I’ve reached an odd point one day after writing this post, in which I regret the contents of it. So, this brings up the question of whether or not I should edit the things I write here, or leave them as testaments of their time, no matter how cringeworthy or irrelevant they are?

Whoops, too late. This will hopefully be the only time I do this, but it had to be done. I feel silly.

Writing something small while I work on something bigger, so I can keep up the daily post thing.

I have to go to work soon, and don’t have enough time to write what I actually wanted to write, so as the title says, this is a small thought post for until I finish the main one, which is about Doctor Who.

I’ve started slowly teaching myself AUSLAN, which is a context heavy sign language originating in Australia. When I say slow, I mean slow. I’m learning it from videos posted on Facebook by a lady named Asphyxia. So far I can say things like ‘food’, ‘drink’, ‘hello’, ‘how are you?’, ‘good’ and ‘bad’.

The other night I got to use this to a degree, asking a deaf customer at work “How are you?”. She replied by telling me she was good, then thanked me. It was REALLY awesome, and it’s encouraged me to keep going with it. This is nice.